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 Hi!
This is Eldra. :)
I am very interested in
inspiring women everywhere to own their power. I have a fierce passion
about the warrior woman icon.
She is amazing, she is
passion, she is strength!
It is
my desire that you bring those qualities to your own life. Welcome to the journey of
becoming a warrior woman!
Now you may be wondering who I am.
Well, let me
tell you a little of my story.
I learned about the
importance of warrior women
the hard way...
Hopefully
the bad situation I'm about to describe
was worse than anything
you'll ever have to face in your life.
A
situation that almost left me dead.
Before
we go any
further, I need to tell you a story. (I'm going to highlight
parts for all you skimming readers out there.)
It’s
not easy to
share this with you, but you need to understand…
I
had been the kind of person who thought nothing like this would ever
happen to me, in fact I spoke in very
derogatory ways about other women who got themselves into these messes!
I
ended up with a
very dangerous guy for a boyfriend.
Sadly,
I know this
situation is not unusual....
He
was a scary guy
who when I met I didn't even want to be with, though
I did feel some weird, repulisive attraction. He lived with some
friends of mine,
and I ended up spending a lot of time with him.
One thing led to another and soon we were
"together."
That's when things got really bad.
He was vicious. He
was bipolar, and was a tweeker (doing meth), and he
was manipulative and controlling.
Oh ya', and he was
wanted in four states, but looking preppy and
totally
not like someone I would imagine having been in prison.
He was a psychic
vampire. (It's funny cause I actually coined this term
on my own before ever hearing of it anywhere else!) He sucked all my
energy and will away, and I was just a shell of the person I once was.
And even when I saw that he was
manipulating me and didn't like it, I
didn't know how to follow my own urges any more or how to get out.
It was tragic,
sad and depressing (and very melodramatic of course).
Then one night
after we had "broken up" ( I was still as hooked as ever
really.), I was trying to talk things out with him so he would take me
back.
I stood in his
way, in front of the door, and he
went into a rage. He
grabbed me by my wind pipe and proceeded to crush it.
I couldn't breath.
I was dying. I didn't know what to do. I looked
around the room for someone to intervene ( the room was full of
sh#%*heads all drugged up), but they all sat there and watched as if it
were simply a fascinating movie.
No one helped me.
I was alone and
knew I would be dead any second and had no idea what to
do.
If I struck him
without stopping him it would just enrage him
further, and he would
certaintly beat me to death.
I didn't know what
to do to make him stop.
I looked in his
face once more, and something in his eyes changed.
I looked at me
angrily and then let go.
I don't know why
he did. I always tell people I think it's because he
realize that there was a whole room full of people who could testify
against him ( not bloody likely they would remember anything really,
but
you never know).
The truth is I
have no idea why he let go. But I'm glad he did.
Because now I can
assist other women to never be in that type of
situation or in their recovery from it.
Then the next
night he came to my house begging me to run away with
him to another state. And I was going to go! Talk about co-dependance!
Anyway, some
people intervened. My uncle actually (smart man) suggested I take a
little vacation.
I left the state
to visit my grandma, and had some major revelations,
got a bit of myself back. And started to see some things about being
with him that made me not want to be there again.
But it took a long time to really get
over him and not ever want to
be
with him again.)
I learned a
lot about myself in my journey to become whole again.
- I researched self help info -- found some
really good stuff (which I offer here),
- quit my job working for the psychotherapist I
was working for so I myself could get the kind of therapy they offered
(which was holding therapy. It was very powerful and very beneficial to
me!),
- And had to move back in with my parents
(which totally sucked. They didn't trust or like me very much at that
point.)
- And stayed alone a lot and did a lot of soul
searching and crying.
It was a difficult
journey. I was very busy doing the hard work of healing.
I was simply
commited to making my life whole.
I was willing to
do what it took (not have my life back, because
that's what got me into that place anyway) to create a new life for
myself.
A
whole life... where I was really me.
Not
some idea of
what people thought I was supposed to be.
I gained a lot of
wisdom.
And
my life is
sooo different from what it was back then! It is very good!
I
finally figured
out some of what it takes to have healthy relationships, and have been
with my husband for 7 years!
I
am upfront with
people (no more passive-ness stuff anymore!). If
I have a problem I say it, and resolve it.
I
have learned how
to be free of melodrama. (I used to be addicted to
it! It's very liberating to not be in all those kinds of messes
anymore!
I have more time and energy to just play around and have fun!)
I've
learned how to protect myself
(finally! That one was the hardest
one to figure out some straight answers about! How can
there be soo much misinformation about one thing?! But I did find the
good stuff, and I've looked everywhere!)
And most
importantly, I learned how to love
myself, and really feel my
worth and value.
Think about it for
a minute....
Me
a total loser who
was depressed,
lost, suicidal, and cutting myself, with a nasty guy for a
boyfriend...
To someone with
plenty of self love, who has a long term marriage to
a gentle, strong, and
supportive guy, and I am empowered to assist other women to have better
in
their
lives as
well!
Through
my own traumas of sexual abuse
and domestic violence, and
through my extensive reaserch of warrior women, and self
protection, relationships, health and healing....
I am here to offer my wisdom to all of you.
- So
look around.
- Find
the information you need.
- Join
the community and start a converstation.
- Get
a Backstage Pass and get personal access to me,
- And own your personal power!
Welcome
to the
journey of
becoming a warrior woman!
A photo of my husband
and I river rafting! :)
P.S.
I am just me, working to inspire women to
be empowered in their lives -- to stop being victims.
That is what this site is here for. To
inspire you, and challenge you, and lead you to the answers you need to
make your life what you want.
I love to get feedback on what I'm doing
well, and what you feel is missing so that I can make the sites better,
so leave me a comment on our contact form!
The models and artists love to hear about
their work too! So even if it's just a comment on an image you really
like, go ahead and drop a note!
I do read everything, respond as soon as
possible, and pass on your
comments! :) I also want to let everyone know
that the messages and comments I receive are
greatly appreciated.
See you around!
To the
warrior woman in you!
Eldra McCracken
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